Star Trek 1-9
Science Fiction
films 2-9 |
MPAA:G
MPAA:PG |
Hi, my name is Willie, and I'm.. I'm.. I'm.. (sigh) I'm a Trekker. Note: I
said Trekker, not Trekkie. I don't have a set of fake ears, I don't have a uniform
and a communicator pin that beeps, I don't watch every rerun that airs, I don't
read every book that comes out (though I do have several of them), and I don't
have every episode, cast list, and plot summary committed to memory. I do have
most of the first couple of seasons of TNG on tape under the stereo, and I do
have the movies currently available. If you're like my wife, and you really
don't care about Star Trek, take a gander here and see if you might want to
give one of these flicks a chance after all.
Star Trek The Motion Picture:
Even those folks with fake ears and uniforms admit that this is a dumb movie (it's
frequently referred to as The Motionless Picture). The plot is dumb (an old Voyager
series probe returns to Earth to find it's creator, causing murder and mayhem),
the costumes look like pajamas, and the acting is weak (even they knew this picture
wasn't so hot). It was, however, the first time anyone had seen the Enterprise
in years, and boy was she beautiful.
Star Trek II, The Wrath of
Khan: This was the movie they
should have started with. The plot was a big improvement over the first film,
and even ties to an original series episode (Ricardo Montalban plays Kahn, the
leader of a group of genetically engineered people, exiled to a remote planet
by Kirk. After he's accidentally rediscovered, they take over a starship, and
go hunting for James Kirk, so Kahn can have his revenge). The costumes are a tenfold
improvement over anything they had before, and the action and effects are terrific.
Star Trek III, The Search for
Spock: Before filming II, Leonard
Nimoy decided he wanted out, so they wrote his death into the script. He changed
his mind later though, so they wrote an entire movie just to get him back into
the movie series. They come up with some strange plot explanations in order to
allow this to happen, but it works out ok mostly. There are some nifty performances
by Christopher Lloyd (he makes a nice Klingon), though I preferred Kirstie Alley's
portrayal as Saavik in II, over Robin Curtis' performance of the same person in
this film.
Star Trek IV, The Voyage Home:
Another one of the better ones. This one trades some of the action and effects
for some well executed humor. The crew (along with the newly resurrected, and
still slightly loopy Spock) has to return to the past, get a whale, return to
the future with it, and hope it tells a rather destructive alien probe to go home.
This gives lots of chances for 'fish out of water' kinds of humor, as the crew
tries to blend in with an Earth 200 years before their time.
Star Trek V, The Final Frontier:
Spock had (has? will have?) a half brother, something we never knew before this
film. Turns out he had a good reason for not mentioning him; seems brother dear
(Sybok) is a renegade Vulcan who actually seeks out and explores new emotional
experiences (a no-no in polite Vulcan Society). Sybok has a neat new brainwashing
technique which he uses on the entire population of Nimbus 3 (kind of like Dune,
only no Francesca Annis). He then hijacks the Enterprise to the center of the
Galaxy, so he can meet god. Turns out god is actually a creepy alien that is trying
to escape his prison. The Klingon's come to save the day though, and everyone,
except the late Sybok, goes home happy.
Star Trek VI, The Undiscovered
Country: The Klingons accidentally
blow up half of their moon, and it causes major problems with the atmosphere on
their planet. Spock offers the Federation's help to the Klingons, and the Enterprise
gets sent to bring them over. Assassins then kill the Klingon Chancellor, and
Kirk and McCoy get blamed, tried and imprisoned for it. They escape from prison,
find out who the conspirators are, and come to the rescue, with a little help
from Sulu in the Excelsior. More fine performances, this time from Christopher
Plummer (a mad Klingon General), Iman (you know her, model, David Bowie's wife),
and David Warner (who was the Federation representative in the previous film).
Star Trek Generations:
This was the passing of the torch film -- most of the original cast didn't bother
even showing up. Kirk was there, providing the link between the 2 parts, and Scotty
and Chekov were there to keep him company, and provide enough of the old guys
to make it worth the trouble. The big thrust of the film is one Dr. Solan -- an
old pal of Guinan -- and his attempt to return to a spacial phenomena called the
Nexus. He was almost there once before (in the first half of the film in fact),
and will do anything (including blowing up star systems and siding with Klingon
bad girls Lersa and Betor). Picard and company try to stop him, and succeed, mainly
because Kirk has been in the Nexus, and he comes out to help. Ok, so they end
up destroying the Enterprise -- but oh well.
Star Trek First Contact: The
first full Next Generation film finds the Federation reeling from yet another
attack by the Borg. The good guys manage to defeat the cube, but not before it
spits out a sphere(?) spitting out chronitron particals. The new and improved
Enterprise gives chase and starts blasting, and witnesses the Earth suddenly changed
into a new Borg homeworld -- shortly before follwong the temporal distortion that
the sphere disappeared into.
Star Trek Insurrection: Data
is part of a research facility hidden on a small planet in a very odd part of
space.
If you're only interested in watching 1 of these films, I'd say watch 4, it's probably the most mainstream of the films, as well as one if the most enjoyable. If you're willing to watch more, I'd say start with 2, then 3, then 4, not because 3 is that great (it's not) but 2 is very good, and 2 - 4 are basically one long story, each leading to the next. If you're still interested after those, then I'd skip 5 and 6, watch 7, then pick up 6, then 5 if you were still interested. Then, if you decide you actually do like Star Trek, you can watch the first one. I should warn you though, if you watch all those films, people might think you're a trekkie.. er .. trekker.
Copyright 1997-2001, Tuesday Nite, Ink